Author: elsims

Today, I had my first therapy appointment. And today, I decided, I quit therapy. Just kidding 😂.  We barely even touched on anything and it was still a little intense. I thought I knew myself. I pride myself on being self-aware and knowledgeable of my faults. Yeah, I’m not. I have been sitting on the surface and she is about to make me dig my own damn grave. Yet, this is what I signed up for. I want a more fulfilling life. I want to know why I am here, and not just because God isn’t bored with me 😆. I want to be a better friend, daughter, sister, and aunt. I want to accept the current version of myself, and not keep dwelling on who I was. I want to be comfortable with crying, even if I don’t feel like it is helpful. Because I am sure keeping it in, isn’t helpful either. There is so much I want while I am still here on this earth. Oh, I even have a quote for this. It is my own quote.

“If this is truly the only life I get to live, I’ll be damned if I live this one.” – Ebony Sims

This is in reference to the life I am currently living. It is pretty average. Nothing to write about, even though I am always writing about it on this blog 😂.

After my appointment today, I realize why people don’t go to therapy. And I don’t recommend it, until you are ready. We are always walking around talking about how someone needs therapy, without realizing it is a huge step. Like it is nothing to play with. You are talking to some random person and telling them all your business. You are exposing parts of yourself, you haven’t even come to terms with yet. Then you have to tell the therapist why you feel a way. I don’t fucking know why I feel that way, I just do! Wrong answer 😕. And at this point, you have to evaluate your feelings in that moment and find the best one to describe the emotion that motivated you. Talk about work (wipes brow). Lol. Seriously though, I will be more cognizant of what I say in regards to therapy. It is nothing to take lightly.

I received a few packets and some homework. One of the packets was titled Becoming Whole. Talk about right place, right time. Not only is it a part of my sign-off, but it is one of my goals for my personal new year. I believe God lead me to this particular therapist. I am uncomfortable and a little scared. Heaven only knows what is going to come up in these sessions. But I believe it is my time to be well and whole. I wish the same for you, no matter how or when you get there. Much Love 🧡 💚

Last year, the printing company in the same plaza as our firm gave us a daily quote calendar. I took it upon myself to read the quotes to the office each day, while kinda. There were days I missed reading the quotes, but I would always catch us up. When I moved back to Toledo, I continued to send the quotes to a couple of my coworkers. There were some good quotes, the bad quotes, and some What? quotes. We discovered recently that we would run out of quotes on October 31st, aka today bka Halloween. Who the hell creates a calendar to end at such an odd time? I have decided as the self-appointed quote reader to find quotes to finish out the year. I also have a 365 calendar in my cart. Well, I actually have three. I couldn’t decide, so I put them all in there. I will narrow it down to one over the weekend.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the calendar and a couple I found today that cracked me up.

“Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” – Teddy Roosevelt

“Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.” – Immanuel Kant

“Obsessed is just a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” – Russell Warren (This was my favorite quote from the whole calendar.)

“The most important lesson you learn from winning is that you can.” – Unknown

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” – Chuck Palahniuk (I don’t believe this, but it made me giggle.)

“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – George V. Higgins

“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” – Ogden Nash (One of my all-time favorites.)

I love a good quote. I am looking forward to finding the quotes to send to the ladies. I’ve found a few funny ones already. We don’t need her calendar quotes! I got this! What are some of your favorite quotes ? Do you like any of the ones I shared? Let me know. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚

Today, my friend shared a post from Instagram and it was so relatable. The post was from bookforwealth and it listed Adult problems nobody warned me about.

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A post shared by Book For Wealth | Empower Thoughts | Build Wealth (@bookforwealth)

I could relate to the majority of the adult problems since I have technically been an adult for 30 years. That shit is crazy! I just knew I was going to go to the comments and find people stating how they could relate to the post. What I found was a bunch of people talking about how the post was negative (it’s not) and how people should look for the good things in life. Seriously!?!? So a person makes a post about the realities of being an adult and they are being negative?

I don’t remember what I thought adulthood would be like when I was a kid. I can tell you, no matter what I thought, this shit ain’t it. Being an adult is for the rest of your life starting at the age of 18 and the life can be wonderful, then overwhelming, then happy, then emotional, and on and on. It is good to have a positive attitude. It is also good to admit when you are not doing well. And when you say you aren’t doing well, no one has the right to tell you to stop being negative or look on the bright side. Fuck the bright side in this moment I’m having. Why can’t an adult, who technically doesn’t have to listen to anyone, have a moment? This is why people are lacking connections. If I come to you with my moment and you don’t let me have it, I’m probably not going to come to you anymore.

One of the books that we read in book club was talking about better ways to communicate in a business setting or in a personal one. Sorry, I don’t remember the exact book. I do remember how the author said, when a person comes to you to talk, we should ask a couple of questions. I’m totally paraphrasing here. But the question was along the lines of, Do you want to just talk or do you want my feedback? Sometimes, we just need to talk. To get it off our chest. Being an adult is just…ugh. And even if we do live on the bright side, it is okay to visit the dark side. It doesn’t make you or your perspective negative.

Today, I had to administer my once a month MS medication. I always have a moment right before I press the auto injector into my leg (dark moment). Then I have a bright one when I look down at my bandage.

These adult problems aren’t going anywhere soon, so feel free to have a moment and then some more. It is one way to help you be well and whole. And I want that for you and I. Much Love 🧡 💚