elsims – Page 65 – Ebony on Everything

April 11, 2020

Hello Again

When I said I had nothing to talk about, that was kind of true. But I’m me, so there is always things to talk about. I have been feeling like shit. Brain fog makes it a little difficult to get your thoughts together and put it into coherent sentences. Lol. A symptom of MS that is definitely one of my least favorite. I have been off work all week and this is my first time writing which sucks because I’m going back to work on Monday. Whatever! I pretty much sat around watching pointless TV shows without accomplishing anything of value. I have been walking since it has warmed up a little bit. That is one good thing.

This post is just another check in. We are in the middle of a pandemic and the world as we knew it is over. This is a whole new reality. We are in a Marvel/DC comic with an alternate timeline/universe. I am not a comic book nerd but I am a fan of Marvel movies and The Flash. This is like Barry Allen/The Flash went back in time to save his mom and missed up everything on this Earth yet again. Lol. Damn Barry Allen! I am sure that is what happened. Now y’all can stop blaming it on the bats. As if…lol.

As I have said before I am an introvert so social distancing hasn’t been too hard for me. I feel bad for the extroverts in the world. I am okay with a simple phone call to have a quick chat with someone. However I am not okay with video chatting. I know what you look like. I don’t need to see your face. Unless it’s Chalupa, my niece. I love to see her little face. For all who are following the social distancing guidelines I commend you. Especially people who would have celebrated birthdays in the past weeks and those who have them in the coming weeks and months. I cannot leave out acknowledgement for all the essential team members that are helping to make this crisis manageable.

Then we have people who are going to the extreme while out in public. I have seen some of the craziest pictures of people online. There was a thread of people wearing things like a scuba mask with an oxygen tank, plastic bags over their faces (I thought you could suffocate like that), gallon water jugs cut to fit their heads and on and on. Seriously! If you don’t feel okay being outside with the general public, have your groceries delivered, duh. That way you are only interacting with one person. Today while driving I seen people with mask and gloves on in the car. What? Does your car have the Coronavirus? Stay y’all asses at home. Lol

In times like this it can be hard to see the bright side. I get it. This would be a great time to start a gratitude journal. Write down at least 3 things every day. I don’t care if it’s as simple as I have a roof over my head, food to eat and toilet paper to wipe my ass. The reality is some people don’t so therefore why not be grateful for even the obvious things. Not saying compare yourself to others, but just having a sense of awareness of what is right in your life. I believe that people have taken for granted all of life’s little pleasures. Now that a good portion of them have been taken away, it is a little hard. For some it is extremely difficult. So let’s focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have. It will brighten your day. Today I am grateful for the sun which recharges my internal batteries, the calm waters of Lake Erie and my car which allowed me to get out and enjoy these two things. Pretty simple, huh?

I know that there will be hardships following this crisis. People will lose their businesses and their jobs permanently. It breaks my heart. I want us as a people to keep this solidarity we are forming right now once this is over. We will need to help those who have lost get back on their feet. This right here goes to show there isn’t any real differences between human beings. All people of this world are facing the same pandemic. Every class of people, every race and nationality of people. No one is exempt. And no one should be excluded when it is time to rebuild. As I have said before, I hope we come out better for having gone through this.

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve
lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”

-Elizabeth Edwards

Let’s put together something that is great! Live not in fear but with caution and continue to be well and whole. Much love to you all.

April 2, 2020

Hello

Well March aka Multipe Sclerosis Awareness month is official over and now I can talk about anything. Well I could then too but I wanted to bring awareness. The sad part is I don’t have anything to talk about. Lmao. I accomplished no goals because they all involved money and I need that money for bills. Lol. I received a note from the apartment manager letting me know they don’t give a shit, rent is still due. Ok, gotcha. I’m sure my other debtors don’t give a shit either. No, I could probably call and skip a couple of payments but my ultimate goal within the next 2 years is to have all my debts eliminated. I am moving and the only things I want to take with me is clothes and furniture. I don’t want anything else weighing me down. Not even a man unless it is my nephew. Lmao

Seriously though, I had a few things I wanted accomplished by the end of March. For one, I wanted to start a new blog. And this would have been the perfect time. A good portion of people are off work including most of my friends. And this blog is for them. So this blog became an idea from our group texts. My friends are funny and crazy with no filters. Kinda like me but a little worst. They would probably disagree but I don’t care. Lol. My goals is to create a blog where each of them can post anonymously and it would be rated R for sure. It will be a private blog that requires permission to access due to the content not being for just anybody. And honestly once everything financially is taken care of for this month, I may still do it. It will give adults only some entertainment in these uncertain times.

Still haven’t purchased my GoPro 😫. Yep, that is on hold as well. It is so hard to be a responsible adult. And totally overrated. I don’t have any adventures to record anyway so I guess I can suck this one up. I still have my amazing phone that takes awesome pictures like this.

Literally just made it before the sunrise.

I know that we have all had to put our lives on hold. It can be discouraging and a little depressing. For some odd reason, I am still filled with excitement for the possibilities. I am rediscovering parts of me that I have buried due to being consumed with day to day life. I have almost finished crocheting two blankets already. And that is a feat for me. Lol. Im going to purchase some puzzles to work on. What have you done that you haven’t done in a while? What talents are you rediscovering? What hobbies old and new have you started? I believe that we should not lament this time but use it wisely. Life will resume. And it will be different. Let’s learn ways to find peace and hobbies to occupy our time in a positive way. To be better. To be stronger and more resilient. I am going to try meditation again. I heard it works miracles. And I want a miracle 😀.

I know this is all easy for me to say because I am childless and husbandless(yes I know it is not a word). For those of you that are comfortably crowded in the house with your loved ones, well…good luck. Lmao. Just kidding. I would think that this is an opportunity for deeper relationships. I don’t know. So I just hope that you all are making the best of this situation. And don’t feel bad if you need to get out and go for a drive by yourself. Or a walk in the park by yourself. Or any other activity that we are allowed to participate in by yourself. Continue to live with caution, not fear. Wash your damn hands and be well and whole. Much love to you all.

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March 29, 2020

This Too Shall Pass

A lot has changed since my last post. The coronavirus continues to spread and claim lives daily. Other countries have went on complete lockdown to eliminate the spread of the coronavirus. We have two deaths in my county, Lucas, from the virus and the number of people affected changes every day. They have shut down restaurants, beauty and barber shops and various businesses. Others have lessened their store hours and set aside hours for seniors and more vulnerable people to shop for essentials. A great number of people are forced to file for unemployment. This is a time where people are allowing fear to take over. But there are others who are like fuck it and still travelling and living their best life. I guess people handle crisis differently.

I am sitting at my spot by the water and this is the most people I have ever seen on the trail ever, seriously. Couples walking together, families and individuals walking dogs. People desperate to get out of the house and doing one of the few activities they can do. Me, I’m just living. My normal life is pretty introverted to the point that it could be called quarantine. Lol. I spend time with those I want to and avoid the shit out of most people. The only difference right now is I am not spending time with the people I want to going out for food and drinks. I am watching sunrises, taking drives in my car by myself, crocheting and watching TV. Which are things that I would be doing anyway. Just doing more of it now.

I need to do some reading. But I want to finish these blankets first. I have a terrible habit of having too many irons in the fire. I want to focus on finishing one thing before starting another. The blankets I have been working on is for people affected by Multiple Sclerosis. I have been giving them out for the last 3 years at Walk MS. I guess I won’t be doing that this year because the MS walk has been canceled. I still want to finish the blankets though. I am sure I can find people to give them to. I spoke with my cousin last night and she said she has been doing puzzles with her daughter. Ohhhh…I love puzzles. Putting this on my list of things to do for sure.

People with MS are part of the vulnerable population. There is medications such as Gilenya, Ocrevus, Mayzent and Lemtrada that suppresses the immune system in an effort to slow down the progression of MS. My current treatment is Ocrevus. This makes me more susceptible to contracting the coronavirus. It also makes me vulnerable to dying from the virus if I contract it. As I said before, I do not plan on continuing my fight against MS with the assistance of this medication. Or any other immunosuppressive medication for that matter. They just open me up to too many unwanted possibilities. With there being so many other alternatives on the market, I am happy I can choose a different medication.

At this point, I do work for an essential agency but every job is not essential, therefore I will not be working. I will be on temporary unemployment until April 6th or longer. With all the factors that I listed above, I was the best candidate to be off. It made me sad but of course I understand. The day will come when most of us can go back to our normal routines. For others, who have lost loved ones will have to establish a new normal. We will all be changed in some way. I don’t know what people are getting out of this. I don’t know how people are affected. I am just hoping we come out of this better. I can dream right? Lol. If you are bound to your home, start a new hobby, catch up with people you haven’t talked to in a while, read, write. But most importantly, be well and whole. Much love to you at this time and always.