Missing Myelin Pt. 1

March is Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness Month. So I thought it would only be fair to really get into what MS is and how it is to live with MS. I don’t really talk about my life with MS much because I don’t want or need people to pity me. I’m okay. At the same time, if someone is unaware of what MS is or how it affects the body, I am more than willing to speak about it. If you are interested in my journey, I will share it. I can honestly say that I had no clue of what MS really was until I became affected by it. Most people are not aware of a specific condition until they are or someone they know and love are affected by it. There really is a lot I have to say about this topic that this will be a two-part post.

To start, I will give the basics of what MS is and how one can be changed by this condition. Multiple Sclerosis is an autoimmune disorder where your body attacks and eats away the protective covering over your nerves called myelin. Once the myelin is depleted, you will lose the connection between your nerves and your brain. This missed connection will make that area of the body unusable. The areas most commonly affected are the eyes, feet, legs, arms and hands. MS is usually found through a MRI where it represents itself as scars/lesions on the brain or spine. This is where the name comes from. Multiple scars/lesions = multiple sclerosis. If the doctor feels the MRI is inconclusive another test can be performed called a spinal tap. This requires them to stick a long needle in your back and draw out fluids. My back is tingling thinking about this right now. If the test comes back abnormal, you have MS. I have had both an MRI and a spinal tap. The spinal tap solidified my diagnosis along with a second opinion from the Mellen Center at the Cleveland Clinic. Now what?

Well, at this point I started to research my condition. What medications are available, what resources are out there for people with MS, in what ways I can be affected. I reached out to the MS Society first. The lady I spoke with over the phone seemed helpful, but I found it to be untrue. The only thing I received was Momentum, the MS magazine. I never received any other literature or communication from them. One time I even ordered a free workout video that was said to have exercises beneficial for people affected by multiple sclerosis. It never came. I have never reached out to any other MS association/service/agency again. Maybe when I am in dire need I will try again.

The first medication I tried was called Gilenya and I took it faithfully for about a year. It was all bad. The medication lowered my immune system so much that I started to get really bad infections, MRSA infections. This was not how I expected treatment to go. Baby bottle antibiotics and lancing the boils was not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Bye Gilenya! I am really bad with medication. I dislike it tremendously. At this point, I felt that I would just take my chances with MS. I could see the deterioration, but I also knew that there is no guarantee that a medication would assist me either. The reality is MS medication is supposed to delay the effects of multiple sclerosis on your body. They are not even sure if that is true since every person’s journey with MS is different.

The next medication I tried was Plegridy. It is a shot that I would inject every 2 weeks. It was an auto injector so I didn’t actually have to look at a needle or use a syringe. Once again the side effects were a little unpleasant, but not as bad as Gilenya. It gave me flu-like symptoms and it took a week for the side effects to wear off. By the time I was back to normal, it was time for another injection. Once again, I had to make the decision whether to continue on the medication, stop taking it or try another one. I am currently not on any medication, but I would be willing to try another one at some point. Probably a shot, not a pill.

Let’s be real, there will not be a cure for MS and if there is one created, it will not be affordable or widely available. These pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies are making too much money off these medications. We are stuck taking these medications that can have side effects worse than the actual disorder. Some medications can give you seizures, cancer, an incurable brain disease, kidney problems, etc. Uhh…no thanks. These are the more severe side effects but the minor ones are still annoying. This is the life of most people diagnosed with a chronic disorder or disease. Rather it is cancer, lupus, lou gehrig’s disease (ALS), thyroid condition and so many more. We are totally dependent on an outdated medical system. The “breakthroughs” that have been discovered in regards to MS is nothing different from what they knew 10, 20, 30 years ago. They have no idea what causes it. The experts say it is not hereditary, but people from the same family will be affected. Come on now, let’s make some headway in finding truly groundbreaking information and treatment that works.

Part 2 of Missing Myelin will be available soon. In the meantime, be well and whole.

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MS Walk 2018

This post is going to be fairly short. I have been continuing to allow all of life’s every day little responsibilities to stop me from posting regularly. I have been juggling too many projects at one time. When I lose one, I pick up another. Smh. This is more of an excuse than a reason. This blog is my baby. Created by me and I should be taking better care of it. I have so much to tell y’all, but it won’t be in this post. I will still definitely catch y’all up on everything. I just needed to share this information since this is only a couple of weeks away. I would love for whoever that can attend to join me.

The MS Walk will be held at the University of Toledo on Sunday, April 29, 2018 at 9 am. Check in and refreshments start at 8 am. You can go to this link(which it looks like you are going to have to copy and paste) and choose “Find Your Walk”. It will give you an option to find a team. My team name is “Ebony’s Avengers”. At this time you can join my team to participate in the walk or if you cannot participate, you can make a donation. Whether you are attending the walk or not please join my team. I want to know who wanted to support me but was unable to.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/OHAWalkEvents

If you are going to attend the walk, please send me a text (419-213-9391) with your name, just in case I don’t have your number. That way I will be looking for you. I will not start the walk until all of my team members are at the building. Therefore, if something comes up and you are unable to attend, please let me know.

Also, I am still not active on any social media sites. I didn’t delete my Facebook page so this will still show up, but I am not checking my post. The best ways to reach me is by phone at the number above or email, elsims27@yahoo.com. Or you can also make a comment in the box below. I try to make myself accessible for everyone. Thank you and hope to see you there.

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MS-cellaneous

I have a hard time talking about Multiple Sclerosis (MS as I will refer to it the rest of this post) because I do not want to do the disease a disservice. I truly believe that it is a serious disease but I try not to approach it in that way. I live my life in humor and reality. My friends and I can joke about it and I not feel offended. I know the disease and it’s progression. I know that it is an autoimmune disease that eats away the protective covering on your nerves. I know that after an episode/exacerbation, you may not regain the complete use of whatever area was affected. I know that there is no cure but a lot of medications with horrible side effects. I know that there is so much more that I will not put in this post. But most importantly I know that I have MS.

I know people say that you shouldn’t claim an illness or disease. So I’ll say, I have signs and symptoms of a person who has MS. These past weeks I have had signs and symptoms of a person who is/has had an MS exacerbation. I even participated in a treatment recommended for someone who is having an exacerbation. I really didn’t want the treatment but I realized that I wasn’t going to get better without it. This time was different though. I went to the hospital 3 days in a roll to receive steroid medication intravenously. By the third day I felt better as usual. The day after still doing good. The second day after, which was a Sunday, I couldn’t get myself to move. I had severe brain fog and my body wouldn’t cooperate. I was laid low. This had never happened to me before after a treatment. I rested all day and was so thankful that the next day was a holiday. If I had to work, I would have called off. I DO NOT call off work. By Monday, a little less brain fog and some mobility gained. Tuesday back to work. I made it through the day. Thank God it was my short day.

Now here I am a week later, feeling better still but not who I was before the episode. Walking more like a person than a penguin. Can walk without the use of my stick. Also have the ability to do my job without questioning every little thing I do. Thankful, blessed. I am thankful for everyone that prayed for my recovery and healing. Thankful for the concern from my friends, family and coworkers. Thankful for those who came through for me when I needed them. Blessed that my doctor and his nurses responded quickly to get me in treatment. Blessed to be able to go back to work. Blessed to continue to live an independent life. I don’t take it for granted.

There are many things that I have learned since I have had the signs and symptoms of MS. I’m only going to touch on a couple. I have learned insecurity. I have always been a pretty confident person (thanks Mom). This disease with its limitations, will suck the confidence right out of you. I am not an aggressive woman but if I see someone interesting, I would approach him. Yea….not so much now. Now when someone approaches me, I am even reluctant to talk to them. They see a happy and what looks like a healthy young lady. I know that I am damaged goods. So when do you tell them? At that time or later on when you thinks he likes you enough to still call? I also learned an urgency to live now. My signs and symptoms point to the possibility of a wheelchair in my future. Yes you can still live in a wheelchair, I realize that. But there are activities that would be challenging or impossible to do in one. I want to do all of them now. I want to make memories. Have stories. I don’t want to think I missed out on anything. That is one of my greatest fears.

I truly skimmed over the top of MS. I honestly don’t like talking about it at all. The only reason I did was due to the recent episode. It was such a new and humbling experience for me. It requires acknowledgement. Up until this point I have had an easy journey with MS. I can still walk, work, even dance a little. I have never been hospitalized. Never required someone to wipe my ass. Never used more than a walking stick. Never missed a day of work due to MS. Have always been able to transport myself. Except for a few things, lived a pretty normal life. This episode showed me the true face of MS. Showed me that I may be just one episode away from all the things that I fear the most.

I don’t want to discourage anyone from asking me about MS or my journey. MS, though not talked about as many other diseases, is on the rise. Still I didn’t know exactly what it was until I was diagnosed. So please feel free to ask any questions. And I even encourage you to put them in the comments section because it may be the same one someone else has. Or you can always email me at elsims27@yahoo.com.

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