Uncategorized – Page 57 – Ebony on Everything

March 29, 2020

This Too Shall Pass

A lot has changed since my last post. The coronavirus continues to spread and claim lives daily. Other countries have went on complete lockdown to eliminate the spread of the coronavirus. We have two deaths in my county, Lucas, from the virus and the number of people affected changes every day. They have shut down restaurants, beauty and barber shops and various businesses. Others have lessened their store hours and set aside hours for seniors and more vulnerable people to shop for essentials. A great number of people are forced to file for unemployment. This is a time where people are allowing fear to take over. But there are others who are like fuck it and still travelling and living their best life. I guess people handle crisis differently.

I am sitting at my spot by the water and this is the most people I have ever seen on the trail ever, seriously. Couples walking together, families and individuals walking dogs. People desperate to get out of the house and doing one of the few activities they can do. Me, I’m just living. My normal life is pretty introverted to the point that it could be called quarantine. Lol. I spend time with those I want to and avoid the shit out of most people. The only difference right now is I am not spending time with the people I want to going out for food and drinks. I am watching sunrises, taking drives in my car by myself, crocheting and watching TV. Which are things that I would be doing anyway. Just doing more of it now.

I need to do some reading. But I want to finish these blankets first. I have a terrible habit of having too many irons in the fire. I want to focus on finishing one thing before starting another. The blankets I have been working on is for people affected by Multiple Sclerosis. I have been giving them out for the last 3 years at Walk MS. I guess I won’t be doing that this year because the MS walk has been canceled. I still want to finish the blankets though. I am sure I can find people to give them to. I spoke with my cousin last night and she said she has been doing puzzles with her daughter. Ohhhh…I love puzzles. Putting this on my list of things to do for sure.

People with MS are part of the vulnerable population. There is medications such as Gilenya, Ocrevus, Mayzent and Lemtrada that suppresses the immune system in an effort to slow down the progression of MS. My current treatment is Ocrevus. This makes me more susceptible to contracting the coronavirus. It also makes me vulnerable to dying from the virus if I contract it. As I said before, I do not plan on continuing my fight against MS with the assistance of this medication. Or any other immunosuppressive medication for that matter. They just open me up to too many unwanted possibilities. With there being so many other alternatives on the market, I am happy I can choose a different medication.

At this point, I do work for an essential agency but every job is not essential, therefore I will not be working. I will be on temporary unemployment until April 6th or longer. With all the factors that I listed above, I was the best candidate to be off. It made me sad but of course I understand. The day will come when most of us can go back to our normal routines. For others, who have lost loved ones will have to establish a new normal. We will all be changed in some way. I don’t know what people are getting out of this. I don’t know how people are affected. I am just hoping we come out of this better. I can dream right? Lol. If you are bound to your home, start a new hobby, catch up with people you haven’t talked to in a while, read, write. But most importantly, be well and whole. Much love to you at this time and always.

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March 1, 2020

Marching Into A New Day

February has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I wish that I could say that I rocked it out this month and everything went well. I didn’t and it didn’t. The good thing is I am not discouraged or negative about the results. I am aware that sometimes things don’t go as planned and we need to readjusted and continue to pursue our goals. That is where I am on this first day of March. I will narrow down what goals I can accomplish this month and make it happen. I believe that I can still achieve them all by the end of the year. And that is what is most important.

I usually have a terrible time committing to anything on Netflix. My life fear of commitment to relationships transfers over to my Netflix and chill streaming relationship. Or Hulu and chill. I just don’t want to be two episodes in and decide I don’t like the show. Now I have just wasted 2 hours of my life. So it is a surprise that I am almost done with a show. My friend told me about this new dating show called Love Is Blind on Netflix. There is a male side and a female side. They go into these little rooms called pods with a piece of colored glass separating them. They cannot see each other at all. Based on the emotional connections that they make with each other the man proposes, or the woman if you like, to the person on the other side. Now they still have not seen each other. Once the proposal has been made they do this big reveal. The couples then go on a vacation together, move in and ultimately have a wedding. All in about 40 days or so. Very interesting concept.

If I had been approached about this, I would have said yes. I am so shallow! I don’t think that looks are everything but I believe they do play too big of a part in an attraction for me. If I am not immediately attracted to a man, there is a slim chance that he will grow on me with his personality and great qualities. I have already friend zoned him in my mind. I know that is terrible. I have tried dating websites and I swipe left on looks even without reading their profile. Now in my defense, if a man is attractive and he doesn’t believe in God, I am swiping left on him as well. My man doesn’t have to look like a Brad Pitt or Idris Elba, but I do need to find him attractive. But maybe if I was presented with a great personality, funny, open and considerate man without seeing him first, I would be okay. Wonder if they are going to have a season 2?

March is Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness month. Besides this post, all other post will be dedicated to MS. There are new things going on and I would like to share it with you all. If you know me, I am not a sad person even though I have MS but I do speak my truth. I will tell you if all is not well. Nothing I say in relation to MS is to get pity or sympathy. It is just to inform. I didn’t truly know what Multiple Sclerosis was until I discovered I had it. And most people don’t know until I share my story. So I am willing to share to inform.

As this year keeps moving by so quickly, I just hope that no one loses sight of the excitement that you had when this year started. It is still the beginning and each new day brings its own set of possibilities. A lady was approached in a subway terminal and asked to complete the lyrics. This one little incident on the way to meet a friend for lunch changed her life. She has went on Ellen and sang for millions of people watching TV, on YouTube and Instagram. Why can’t our lives change just that suddenly? I believe that it can. So please don’t give up. Even if it seems as if you have been fighting the same fight for years. It has an end date. Continue to be well and whole.

February 23, 2020

And The Winner Is…

Not me. Not fucking me! Just kidding. I’m not mad. I was not chosen as the scholarship winner for Marie Forleo’s B-school. And I was bummed out for that day but I am still happy and proud of myself for reaching out even when my negative self talk tried to take over. I am happy that I was given the opportunity and sending out congratulations to the winner.

I was on Instagram and I follow this guy named Shai Amiel, The Curl Doctor. He is a hair stylist that specializes in cutting naturally curly hair. Like he knows how to bring out the best in your hair just with the way he cuts. I know that when my hair gets longer I have to set an appointment with him. Now I might have to sell a kidney for the the trip and the cut but I think it will be worth it. He posted a picture of this lovely young lady and was celebrating in his work. Her hair was on point. Here is the pic.

The problem is some person decided it was their duty to let him know that the young lady had a great head of hair and pretty much would have looked good either way it goes. Really!?!?!? Why shit on this man in his moment???? But people do that and they do it often. If I am in my moment and I am excited and proud and you try to downplay it, I can tell you the version of Ebony you will get ain’t the good one. It is going to be the one I reserve for the devil or something equally evil. Lmao. Seriously though, stop it. That is not okay and it is just mean spirited. And don’t pull no harm no foul. It was a foul and harm has been done. Even if a person tries to backtrack the harm has already been done. Don’t get me wrong, this message is for me as well. I need to be more aware of what I say to people. If it is not encouraging or uplifting, I need to keep my trap shut.

I know we are close to the end of February and I am not doing good on the goals. I may need to reevaluate what I can accomplish in 30 days. It is not that I don’t have the will or the motivation. I’m lacking a little in the finance department. So my friend who I speak with often told me about a job opportunity. I submitted my resume and the man called to set up a meeting. That should have alerted me right then and there. But it didn’t. I show up for the “meeting” and it is going well. The gentleman proceeds to ask if I was informed of the pay for the position. I let him know I was not but I also did not ask. What is wrong with me people? Who doesn’t ask these questions? That would be me. To say I was surprised when I discovered the position is a volunteer opportunity is an understatement. Now I’m like who and the hell recommends me, who has goals and dreams that require money, for a volunteer position? I’m not going to say his name. I won’t put him out there like that. But bruh, REALLY!?!?!?!

Now I accepted the position. I know, I know. But the chance to learn new and different things just took over and the next thing I know, I said yes. Right now in my life I am not serving. I am not giving of myself and that is not good. I believe our purpose here on this Earth is to serve. What capacity that you do it in, is up to you. I was totally not seeking this out but it was brought to me. There is the possibility that I can benefit these people in countless ways. And after taking a deep breath and remembering my purpose, I am looking forward to serving, learning and giving the best that I have to offer.

So besides not winning the scholarship and accepting a volunteer position, I still have not found a chair for my desk. I was so close. So close. Out of about a hundred chairs, I seen the perfect one. It was on the top shelf, in the back just waiting on me. Or so I thought. I seen the red sticker and knew it was clearance. I know all my little hints is giving this away. The team member gets the chair down for me and it was scuffed up. Like not in one spot but multiple spots. Ugh, what the hell? Of course it was the only one. Here it is.

Now I am obsessed with finding something just like it. Smh. We will not go any further into this crazy mind of mines. Lol.

It was a different kind of week. Mostly everything I touched outside of my normal doings did not go my way. I was mentally, emotionally and physically tired by the end of the week. There was just one thing though. I could still hear a “but”. You did not win the scholarship, but… The job was not what you expected, but… I don’t know what is on the other side of that “but”, but I have faith that it is going to be just what I need. How was your week? What are your goals, dreams and intentions for this week? Please feel free to share in the comments or email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. Life may not be all what you expect or dream, but continue to be well and whole. Love you all.