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I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I don’t like taking pictures so let’s say I “hate” Instagram and Snapchat because that is the main aspect of their apps. I “love” Instagram because I like the funny memes and videos and Pam the bulldog. If you don’t know who Pam is, look her up on Instagram. One of the most awesome dogs in the world. I have Instagram but I have never posted anything on my account. No Snapchat period. No to Twitter as well. For one, I don’t think that you can limit this motormouth to just 140 characters. Hell, I started a blog to be able to talk endlessly. Two, would not ever join now that the current president is making a mockery out of the site. He is uncool so it makes Twitter seem uncool now. I have a LinkedIn account that doesn’t even have a picture of me.

Now to Facebook. Okay, this relationship is complicated. I have family and friends on Facebook that do not live near me. Facebook affords me the opportunity to see pictures and know what’s going on in their lives without me having to talk to them. I love and care about them but at the same time, I’m anti-social. As is most people, so don’t judged me. Lol. I like to watch videos and read uplifting, touching stories. Facebook allows me to do this all in one place without having to comb the internet. And with all the permissions you allow them just to have an account, they know what you like and give you suggestions of videos to watch. Win/lose situation. Also, this is where I see most of my news and current events. This makes me what to learn and do my own research about what is really going on.

Now to the hate. Facebook also is a place to display pics which I hate so, strike one. People put too much of their business on Facebook and get mad when others say something negative. Really?!?, strike two. Once you actually post something, you have to be available to respond if anyone makes a comment. Even though I am anti-social, I’m not mean. Ok maybe just a little. But I don’t want to ignore people’s comments, so I have to keep checking and respond in a timely manner. Yes, I know I can get notifications when people make a comment and that would reduce the checking. Except I hate receiving notifications all day, strike three. Since we struck out, here is a couple of balls. Once you comment on someone’s post, every time someone else does you have the privilege of knowing, ball one. People know when you are on Facebook and want to have side conversations with you. Noooooo, I just want to watch my videos and read my stories. Or play games. I don’t want to talk, ball two. Sherry, I don’t ever mind your side conversations though. Messenger, totally unnecessary. Yet I have not been able to bring myself to delete it. This is how I send my mom the funny or touching stories and videos.

Social media as a whole is a time waster. We spend countless hours watching videos, reading other people’s business or posting our own business. We spend time taking picture after picture just to get the right one as our profile pic. Don’t act like it’s just me. We waste so much time without even realizing it. Sometimes I just think of the other things I could be doing or could have done. Then I think about losing the flimsy connection that I have with my friends and family. What is a girl to do?

I do believe that social media has its place. For people with their own business it is a great way to advertise. Inform people of events, sales and new projects. As artist, you can display your work. Singers can go live and give people a concert which can help sell albums. And it’s basically free. Now that is a win/win. Also, with sites like LinkedIn, you can network and gain new business connections. You can post your resume and get scouted for jobs or look for jobs yourself. Some people have started businesses or their own brand using social media. Funny videos, which I watch, have made people famous and given them opportunities to display their talents on a larger scale. It does have it’s purpose.

I guess I am going to have to parent myself. Parents put restrictions on kids as far as playing with gaming systems and watching tv. I need to put restrictions on myself about visiting social media sites. Maybe something like 30 minutes to one hour a day. I’m going to give this a try starting Monday. I am not sure which site I waste more time on, but I am going to delete Instagram. I’ll miss Pam, but I don’t post anything and I use it solely as a time waster. Facebook, I won’t delete, but I will pull the plug on Messenger. And now that I am posting regularly, finally, I’ll use Facebook and LinkedIn as sites to advertise my blog. Once I stop wasting time maybe I can actually post more and by sharing on social media, I can really grow my audience. Now that is a win/win!

How do you feel about social media? Would you give it up? What would you do with all the free time? Please share your comments in the box or email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. If this is the first post you have read, to make a comment, click on the title and it will be a box at the end of my post.

I hate to cry. I don’t know if I have said this in one of my post before, but I can’t say it enough. I HATE TO CRY!  It gives me a headache. It makes me look ugly. And I believe that nothing is solved by it. The thing that I was crying about is still an issue when I’m done crying, so why bother. Now I look jacked up, got a headache and I feel like a crybaby. I don’t even like to cry when I am by myself. The only time crying is acceptable to me is when I’m angry, I’m happy, I see something really touching or when someone dies. I have issues, I know.

I am in this process of evalutating myself and continuing to grow up to be a better human being. To find what my purpose is and to serve in my purpose. God put me here for a reason and I am desperate to know what that is. I have been watching sermons, Ted talks and anything that I feel may spark a fire. One sermon I watched recently I can’t stop thinking about. Sarah Jakes Roberts and her husband Pastor Toure Roberts had a chat about love and soul mates. The one thing that kept sticking out to me was Sarah saying that she had to be vulnerable. Vulnerable with Pastor Toure so that he could fulfill his purpose as her husband. The light bulb came on.

I don’t know how to be vulnerable. Please don’t be offended, this pertains to me only. I think vulnerability is a weakness. I believe that it allows people to take advantage of me. The only time that I can remember being vulnerable with anyone was with my first love. I didn’t know any better. Lol. I didn’t know to hold anything back. I dived face first into love and came out hurt, restricted and scarred. Scars that I obviously still have to this day. (Side note, I don’t hold anything against him. We were kids. I know I did my fair share of hurting him and generally being an asshole to him.) The one thing that I did learn is not to be vulnerable because I did not want to feel pain like that again.

So here I am, old as hell, finally facing myself and saying something ain’t right here. How would I have the ability to love someone and allow someone to love me  without transparency and vulnerability? I think that is impossible. There is One that can make the impossible possible, God. Please don’t judge me at this point, but I am not even vulnerable in my private time with God. I know, I know. Now back to crying. I will even fight crying in my private time with the one true healer because I hate it so much. I’m probably telling you people too much about me right now. Seriously. Anyways, like I said I’m evaluating. I realize that if I can’t even be vulnerable with myself and God, how can I be vulnerable with anyone else? Duh!!!

Now that I have had this epiphany, I feel suddenly more emotional. And of course I don’t like it AT ALL! The difference is I’m not going to fight it. I’m not going to stop the tears, unless I’m on my way to work. Ok a whole day of ugly, work with me here people. I am going to pray, talk to God and cry if that is needed for my breakthrough. I am going to allow people into my restricted places. I am going to be vulnerable. If you haven’t realized it at this point, I have already started by sharing this with you.

What is a struggle for you? What do you see as a weakness?  What was an epiphany that changed your life? I don’t expect any comments on here. Lol. But if you want to talk about it privately, please feel free to email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. No judgments, just love and acceptance if you want to talk. Remember to make a comment, click on the title and it will have a comment box at the end of the post.

The other night I was driving home going through a construction zone. The speed was 50 mph and we were going that or a little over. This car behind me is so far in my butt and I was starting to get annoyed. For one, we are in a construction zone. For two, there are cars in front of me and I can only go as fast as they go. Needless to say, I lost my cool and beeped at him and flicked him off when he was finally able to get around me. Dick! Now I am a pretty aggressive driver but I know when to relax and go with the flow. If all lanes are going the same speed, I just chill and wait for my opening. I don’t ride ass trying to make people do the speed that I want. I try to keep my road rage in check, but obviously I had a moment.

I live about 18 minutes away from my job and it is actually better to take the street than the expressway. I dislike street driving because it requires too much attention. Expressway driving you can relax a little and enjoy the ride. No stop lights, stop signs or people making sudden turns, without their blinkers of course. I have compiled a list of my top 10 Road Rage Issues that I encounter regularly.

1. When someone pulls out of a side street and get in my lane even though the other lane was empty.
2. When you are at a light and you let a car out and they do not give you the hand. What? Manners people.
3. When you are getting on the expressway and the car in the lane closest to you does not move into the other lane to allow you a smooth transition on to the highway. Especially if there is no one in the other lane. Really!?!
4. When you are the person that allows someone a smooth transition by getting into the other lane and your exit is coming up and they don’t allow you to get back over. I guess that is why people in issue 3 don’t do it. Lol
5. When someone is driving in the fast/passing lane and they are steadily getting passed. Get your ass out of the fast lane!
6. When you are driving on the expressway and the person in front of you decides to clean their windshield. Now your windshield is splattered with water and you can’t see. You now have to be like the dick in front of you and use your wipers and fluid. Smh
7. When you pull up to a four way stop and everyone is just sitting there like who’s turn is it to go. Uh…mine.
8. When the driver in front of you is going slow but when the light turns yellow, they speed up and run through it while you are stuck sitting at the light.
9. Drivers that sit at lights when the sign does not say no turn on red.
10. When it is a two lane turn and the car in the other lane turns in your lane. And then you have to lay on the horn and dodge their car at the same time.

These are just the top ten. I could go on and on. People can’t drive. And some days, I may even do a few of these things. But I do try to be a considerate driver. Are there ones that I didn’t list that is one of your road rage issues? Please share. For you to be able to make a comment, click on the Title of post and it will take you to the page with a comment box.