Ebony on Everything

Here is the post I sent to the editor. Hope you enjoy it 😀.

Hello Summer, you sweet and beautiful season. You many grace some states year round, but for the states with four seasons you have been missed. You bring with you festivals and outdoor concerts. Backyard pools and water parks. Staycations and vacations. Summer, wow what a wonderful time of year.

Summer, your long days and warm nights allows for gatherings of the best kind. People celebrate their love with you. You grace indoor, but mainly outdoor weddings. People stand on the beach and commit their lives to each other in your breezy days. Dance across the floor with love in their eyes in your calm, night sky. What other season can say they have witnessed love so many times? Just you Summer.

Then you have the pleasure of smelling all the barbecue and citronella candles. Friends and families cheers to you. They plan all year just to spend the few glorious months with you. Summer, they invite you to cook with them, to laugh with them and to listen to all their favorites jams. I bet you know how to do the Cha Cha slide and every other hustle invented.

Summer, sometimes you throw us for a loop. What’s up with the extreme heat? We don’t like when our air conditioning runs nonstop. Or when we can’t go outside to bask in your glory for fear of heat stroke. And what about that tropical storm a few weeks ago? And now there is another one on the way. Can you not do that? We still love you Summer, but your unpredictability tests the bounds of our relationship.

Summer, we can’t live without you. Nor would we want to live without you. Thank you for being the time of year for so many great life experiences. I know we don’t have long before you pass the baton to Autumn. We will enjoy the rest of your days until we meet again June 20th next year. Much Love Summer 🧡💚

Sincerely,

All Who Love You

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So about a month and a half ago I was connected to the editor for Vivyd magazine by one of my fellow book club members Raymond. I was ecstatic. I was in my apartment giggling like a little girl when I received the email from the editor. The only problem, I was in a writer’s slump. Y’all know about it. I hadn’t written anything for this blog or anything else. Now I need to come up with some material for a magazine 😳.

Yes, I was so nervous but I gave the editor a deadline when I would submit a couple of blog posts. I knew if I put a time limit on when I would submit, it would light a fire under my ass. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by. I knew I wanted to do a blog post about summer because I was hoping to get featured in the next magazine. The other post was up in the air. I had a conversation with my coworker that spark an idea. Now I have my two blog posts topics, I just have to write them. Easier said than done 😆.

Here I am the day of the deadline and I have maybe a couple of lines, nothing solid. I’m at work and I get the worst fucking headache ever. I had to leave work early. I go home and take a pretty long nap. Now it is about 8 pm my time, 5 pm the editor’s time. I can push through and get him these posts before it is too late. Thank God the headache is now a dull ache. I get to writing.

The content I created was not my usual but it was definitely not bad. I haven’t written for any publications besides my blog in a long time. Proper grammar, sentence structure and punctuation, no cussing 😬. Dammit, I shine the brightest when I can just be myself and not worry about all the politically correct stuff. How to put all this personality in a post? I didn’t.

Just this past week I received a follow up email from the editor. Yep, I giggled again like a little girl. He said he did enjoy my writing but it was not enough content. I had about 300 – 320 words and the norm for his magazine is 600+. As Bob Odenkirk said in the movie Nobody, “I might have, uh, overcorrected.” So by trying to be a little less opinionated, a little less Ebony, I strip those posts down a little too much. Lesson learned.

Now I am going to go back and beef up one of the posts and get it to 600 or more words. The other post about summer is too late to get featured so I’ll put it on here. I think you all will like it. And I have to get through this writing slump and get the editor at least one more. “I am not throwing away my shot!” Blame my niece Chalupa (not her real name 😆) for all the Hamilton references lately, she has everyone watching and singing the songs from the musical 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Anyways, I got this! I can do this. I will do this. There is no doubt. There is only belief. Belief in myself and my abilities. I love writing. I am a writer. I am an author. I will have my writing published in a magazine. I will have a book that people will read worldwide. Writing is one of the gifts God gave to me. Now, he may have cheated me on some of the other ones, like singing, but I’m sure of this gift.

Quick update. I am starting to feel a little better. Day by day. So many wonderful people have reached out to me after my last post. Thank you 🥰. Thank you for your care and your concern. Thank you for the uplifting words. It truly means the world to me. Stay well and whole. Much love 🧡💚

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Yo, the people are asking to hear my voice… – Lin Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton

I have tried to spare you from my sad stories. I have waited an additional 30+ days since my last post, just hoping that what I felt would clear up like the sky after a storm. Unfortunately, it hasn’t and now I have people a little worried about me. So I can’t wait any longer. Hell, maybe me writing it out is the cure. And here I am procrastinating. I don’t know.

Truth is I’m broken. I would like to blame it all on Covid but I can’t. I was feeling a little off before I contracted the virus. The virus just seal the deal. It feels like there is a wall up in my brain and everything I love and care about is on the other side of that wall.  I know that those things are still there but I just can’t get to them.

I have driven miles down my favorite street, watched fireworks, sat along the water, witnessed sunrises, prayed during it all. Yet…my spark is gone. While I am suppose to be making the best of every day, I find myself just existing. Participating in my day to day life on autopilot. Smile, wave, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Proper responses, just the right amount of attention but not completely present. Can anyone relate?

It is so much more that I could say but I struggle to put it into words. These feeling aren’t unfamiliar. I have felt a restless tension within myself for years. Unfulfilled with my place in life. I snap out of it though. I can usually find joy in the simple things. Gratitude for all that is. Maybe I’m just being ungrateful 😆. I don’t know and that is the problem. How do I fix me when I can’t figure out what is broken?

I’m okay, but I am not well and whole. But I hope you are. I hope whoever is reading this can’t relate. I don’t want this for you. I want the best for you. You deserve it. You are worthy. Much love 🧡💚

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