Ebony on Everything

Last month, I was on a roll. I posted more blogs in the first two weeks than I did for 2 months last year. It was awesome! Then life happened, as it always will. I was presented with the study materials to get certification as a Chemical Dependency Counseling Assistant (CDCA) and a two week deadline. Well I did that! It did however take all my spare time after work which meant no blog posts. Then of course I was mentally exhausted, so still no blog posts. I’m back now.

Yesterday as I walked out of the apartment building with a garbage bag full of clothes, oversized purse filled to capacity and my faithful walking stick, I had a surprise. No I did not fall again. Lol. But I wasn’t sure that it wasn’t going to happen. I was struggling carrying myself, the bags and walking in the snow with ice underneath. I pictured myself laid out in the snow with my work clothes on 😂. Unharmed, of course. It would have been fun like back when I was a kid. Anyways, my neighbor, who rarely talks to me, offered to take my “garbage” to the dumpster for me. I informed her that it was clothes and thanked her for the offer. She got in her car and left for work as did I.

There was 2 things that I got out of that interaction. One, this made my whole day. I was so blown over by her kindness. When you stay in a multi-unit apartment building it can be pretty impersonal. Not much interaction with your neighbors beside “Hi” as you pass each other in the hallway. And it doesn’t help that I am anti-social. Lol. So for someone to think of me, it really brightened my day. Recently I had decided to start writing in my gratitude journal again. I definitely documented this encounter.

Two, I am not who I thought I was. Or I guess I am not consistently living as the person I want to be. As I said above, I am anti-social but I’m friendly. If I make eye contact with you I speak. Before mask and even with mask(though no one can see), I smile at people all the time. Yesterday I realized that I have been such a jerk. I never speak to my neighbor. Yes the same lady who offered to help me. I never speak. We usually leave out around the same time every work day and yet I will let her walk past and not say a word. Don’t throw up a friendly wave. Nothing.

To my credit, she doesn’t have a friendly countenance but I have never let that stop me before. That usually makes me want to win the person over even more. I be like, “I am going to make you speak to me” (in my head of course). Yes, I have issues. So why did I let that stop me this time. Why do I rarely speak to my neighbors, who are probably nice people? Why have I changed? When did I become a mirror for other people’s energy?

I don’t know. But I don’t fucking like it! As Maya Angelou says, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Well dammit I know better, I been knew better. I am disappointed in myself for being less than the best version of myself. “Always Do Your Best” is one of the Four Agreements and this year I really wanted to focus on making them a part of my every day life. So now, I have to do better and be consistent with it. No more excuses.

I am grateful for this life. I am grateful for awareness. I am grateful for the opportunity to mess things up and then God gives me another day to make it happen, the right way. I am grateful that you are still reading my blog after that brief hiatus. Be safe. Stay well and whole. Much Love 🧡💚

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P.S. Punxsutawney Phil (what a terrible name), the groundhog, saw his shadow. Six more weeks of winter, if you believe in that. Lol

“Won’t it be wonderful when black history and Native American history and Jewish history and all of U.S. history is taught from one book. Just U.S. history.” – Maya Angelou

Wouldn’t it be great for Black history, Native American history and Jewish history, which is U.S. history, be celebrated year round?

Stay well and whole. Much love 🧡💚

One of the goals I set for 2021 was to save an extra $150 per month or more. I looked over my expenses to see what I could cut to make this easier for me. I decided to cut Amazon Prime, Disney Plus and to eat out less. Cutting Amazon and Disney would only save me about $20 a month, so the majority of savings would come from depriving myself of delicious food prepared by others. Lol. I also paid off a debt in December so I could funnel that money towards my savings as well. Ok plan set.

But one thing that you have to realize is you don’t know what God has planned for you. Yes I set my plan but God had totally different ones. The first week of January my coworker gets sick. She is off for the whole week. I am now responsible for doing her work as well as my own. I’m off on Tuesdays, she works on Tuesdays. Also, she works to 5 pm on Mondays and Thursdays. I’m off at 4 pm. Her sickness has carried over to this week as well. Guess who’s working longer hours. So my plan was to cut expenses and eat out less. Absolutely did not want to work more. God’s plan was not my plan at all.
By my writing down this goal I set it into motion. I laughed for a good 2 minutes when I realized this was the way I was going to achieve it this month. As said by Woody Allen, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Well we both had a good laugh 😆.

The power of writing your goals down. Just know that it may not go how you planned it. Be flexible because it is all about the end point. Am I going to save an extra $150 this month? Absolutely. Goal met. This may not have been the path I chose but I am happy to reach my goal for the month and it is only halfway into the month.

Are you writing your goals down or just walking around with them in your head? Studies say you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals by writing them out and reviewing them regularly. Get a journal and write your goals out. Put them on a cue card. Put them in a note on your phone. And make sure you review your goals. Daily, weekly, monthly. Whatever you have to do. Let no goal go unaccomplished! Lol. I want you to achieve your dreams and your goals. As I said before, I am rooting for you. Be well and whole. Much love 🧡 💚

P.S. God I want a husband. I have already put it in writing with extreme detail because I know I’m not going to get everything on the list. So if I get 80%, I’m good. Also, can you make sure part of the 80% be height. I need him to be 6 feet tall. Thank you God.

P.P.S And rich too God (just kidding, kinda) I mean I’m not going to be upset if he is 😂.

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