Oh, That Hurts

I stabbed myself. I stabbed myself twice. This happened a couple of weeks ago, but I am just now able to post it. No, I do not have a desire to unalive myself. And if I did, I promise you this would not be the method I use. It was traumatizing. Every time I look at my fingers, I get a little queasy. I have been having a one-sided battle with everything lately. I don’t know what the hell is going on. But I bring this up because I am struggling to wrap my mind around how people stab someone to death. I hate to say this, but there is a chance I may die if I am put in a me or you situation and knives are involved. 

I could have passed out, not just from seeing my blood coming out at an alarming rate, but because of the pain. Mind you, it was a small stabbing due to the avocado pit moving and the knife going through the avocado, striking my finger, twice. Don’t ask. Due to MS, I have decreased sensation in my hands, so the pain could have been worse. To think about inflecting that type of pain on another person disturbs me. To think about doing it repeatedly, has me distressed.

I’m going to look at stabbing deaths a lot differently going forward. So, if we are ever in a me or you situation, just shot me. Please don’t stab me. I can’t take it. And if I live through it, can you imagine how traumatized I would be. Anyhoo, watch out for those slippery avocado pits. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡💚

P.S. No, I’m not losing it. I am really just traumatized and I needed to talk about it. This incident actually might have me going to therapy. Maybe it is bringing up some other shit I don’t know about.