Random and Not So Random Thoughts

Sometimes I have thoughts that I write down with the intent of sharing on this blog. The issue is usually they are only a paragraph which would make for a short post. Before this point, they were just sitting in my Evernote app waiting for their day. Lol. Well I decided to combine a few of them into one post. There is no rhythm or reason. They are just my random and not so random thoughts. I will definitely be sharing more post like this.

1. I am the Road Rage Queen. I have gotten better though. I rarely ever flick anyone off or roll my window down to cuss them out. I still struggle with people doing stupid, inconsiderate things. They will get the horn or the evil glare as I pass by them. I believe that some people may not be aware of their driving mistakes and others just don’t really care. My suggestion for either group of people is they should be required to take the written part of the driving test at least every 10 years. This would refresh people’s knowledge about the do’s and do not’s of driving. Let’s be real, most people received their temps and/or driver’s licenses between the ages of 16 – 20 or so. Who and the hell truly remembers that information from so long ago?!? Nobody! I remember a few things, but if I had to take the test today, there is a good chance I may fail. I wonder who I need to contact to discuss this idea 🤔.

2. Here is another random car related thought. I wish that there was a device that allow us to call people in their cars and tell them things like your back lights are out, or their fuel door is open. Then of course, people like me would use it for bad as well. Like cussing them out or tell them to get out of my way. Lol. Nevermind, this may not be such a good idea.

3. This one time at Krogers I actually remembered to grab my Free Friday Download. It was some kind of Cheetos that wasn’t a Cheetos. Lol. They weren’t bad though. The bag was kind of little and I had to find a clip to close it because I wasn’t going to finish them. It hit me, why aren’t chip bags resealable like a Ziploc bag. Unless you are getting the tiny $.30 bag, chips have multiple servings. There is a chance that if not closed properly, chips can become stale. No one wants stale chips. So they would end up going to waste. If the packages were resealable it would preserve the chips for longer. I know this is a great idea, but the chance a manufacturer will actually do it is slim. I truly think any container that holds multiple servings should have a way to close/seal it to preserve freshness.

4. Men and women’s restrooms should be place in the same location at every place of business, church and school. Seriously! This happened to me awhile ago. I was at IHOP and went to use the restroom. I went right and walked into the men’s room. How did I know, well there was a man washing his hands. Thank God, it really could have been worse. I know that I am not the only person this has happened to. Well now I know the women’s room is on the left in IHOP. The other day, I was in J. Alexander’s and the women’s restroom was on the right. Ok picked a damn side and stick to it EVERYWHERE. Yes I realize that I could be more attentive, but why when restrooms could just be universally placed. Also, no matter how the establishment is set up, the women’s restroom should be first, period. This is not up for debate. Lol

5. I am so tired of people doing racist, stupid, ignorant shit and then apologizing like it makes it all better. If you have not studied up on another person’s culture, have a friend of that culture explain to you in-depth the importance of their culture and/or do not know the significance of your actions, DON’T FUCKING DO IT. IT can be anything involving another’s culture that is not your own. IT is blackface, calling people names that are degrading and disrespectful or acting like everyone in this country are not immigrants. Except for Native Americans, none of us are original occupants of this land. Whether we came here willingly or unwillingly as slaves. Others who are in need of opportunities, jobs, education or a safer environment, should be welcomed. There are lines and people seem to be crossing them every day. And then the first thing they say is, “I didn’t realize that it was offensive” or the golden line, “I’m not a racist”. Enough is enough! Get your shit together and get educated or sit your dumb ass down somewhere. Geesh! And if you are really racist, say that. It is best for people to know who they are dealing with. Quit hiding when the truth is found out. This country is truly showing its true colors and they are not pretty like a rainbow.

My mind is overflowing with these kinds of thoughts. I write them down, but I don’t share them too often. I guess because I figure no one really wants to hear them. I believe if you are reading my blog, that you are interested in hearing these things. I hope so at least. Or maybe just bored. Lol. I’ll take it either way. I hope your new year is going well and will continue to do so. Please feel free to share some of your goals or victories with me. I would love to hear them. Be well and whole.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

2019 – The Year of Me

I am not a fan of resolutions but I am a fan of goals. I have some serious goals for 2019. I recently found a journal entry typed out on a piece of paper. After reading that entry I realized where I was at the end of 2018 is exactly where I was at the end of 2015. This has caused me to reevaluate my life. I can’t say that the things I was interested in changing at that time is any different from right now. My life is definitely different, but the main issues that I had are still the same. Resolved to not do the same things another year. I need a breakthrough. So I have labeled 2019 as The Year of Me. I will have tunnel vision about my goals and objectives. I am set on a path of discovery, honesty with self, vulnerability and relationship with God. I know that I have to get out of this rut. I have to change some fundamental thoughts and actions. Get down to the why of things. So with that being said, it is time to put in some work.

As I stated in Reflections, 2018 wasn’t terrible. I started the year off pretty good, but about 3 months in I was distracted. I never got my focus back. My micro goals were not accomplished, so therefore I didn’t accomplish any major goals. So suffice it to say, I am carrying over goals from last year to this new year. I do not want to negate my accomplishments from last year. I did some things. But not near to half of what I wanted. I do have some new goals as well.

One important goal that I want to accomplish within the first 6 months is to get a mentor. I have never had one. There has been people I admired and looked up to, but have never sought to create a relationship were knowledge and success principles could be shared. It seems that it would be beneficial to speak to someone who is already successful in the industry that I want to pursue. Or someone who is succeeding in an industry where no one else is. Or just succeeding in life in general.

I want love. I want to give love and I want to receive love. I want to meet a man who I want to kiss. I know that sounds crazy, but I’m picky about who I kiss. No walls up, full transparency. Wow 😮! It will never stop being scary for me. I know what I am looking for. The me that I am right now could not handle the kind of love that I am wanting in my life. I am a saboteur. The way for this to be attainable may be therapy. I am so serious about this. There is a possibility that I am broken like a toy, not in spirit. So another one of my new goals is to seek wise counsel. There needs to be someone who has an unbiased view of me to tell me about myself. I know it is going to piss me off, but I will be open-minded. How else will I get to my breakthrough? This goal is one I want accomplished within the first 3 months.

Now this one is a carryover. Debt!!! I am so tired of it hanging over my head. I did work on some of it in 2018, but I barely scratched the surface. In 2019, new micro goals to get things either paid off or paid down. This is a must! I don’t want to live this way any longer. I will not live this way any longer. I will set a 12 month goal of the debts to be paid off and an amount I want knocked off the larger ones. These will be broken down in 3 month increments to give myself an idea on how it is going.

For 2019, create a list of things that you want to see manifested in your life. The goal is to write out your heart’s desire. The things you tell people you want or would do if you won the lottery. One thing I ask is to BELIEVE that it is possible. No negative self talk or doubts! Yes you are deserving of your hopes and dreams. Write it down with it being non-negotiable. Write it down with no plan B. For instance, I want a house on a lake or a river, hell even an ocean. I will not settle for anything less the next time I purchase a home. There is no substitute. Now it may not happen in 2019 but I am believing it for myself. I am still going to write it down, paste it on my vision board for 2019. I will envision myself sitting on my deck or in my breakfast nook looking out across the water, drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee. Now what the rest of the house looks like I have no clue. Lol.

Seriously, I want to see people’s timelines and comments on this post, talking about their achievements, hopes and dreams coming to fruition. Post pictures of your vision boards. I want whatever it is that you want for yourself to happen. I will pray for your dreams and goals. I am your cheerleader in this life. If you need a word of encouragement, I got you. Happy and successful people spread love and joy and this is truly what the world needs right now. As I have said before, the world needs you. I need you. Be well and whole in this blessed year of 2019.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Reflections

I cannot say that 2018 was a really bad year for me. It was alright. I’ve definitely lived through worse and was happy to come out on the other side. It was just boring. It was taxing. And in the end, it drained all of my creative juices. I haven’t crocheted since July😕. I can’t even come up with a pattern for the blanket that I want to make. This leaves me without a legitimate reason to buy yarn. Lol. I am now wasting my money on panties. I cannot find an excuse as to why I need any more of them so I don’t even try. I will refrain from purchasing any for now. Don’t know how long that will last.

Since we are talking about my bad habits. I have been reflecting on my past life decisions and evaluating myself closely. Well as close as one can when they are aware of their flaws but really don’t want to learn too many more. The things that people don’t like about me I do not care about. The things that I don’t like about myself are the ones I am concerned with right now. So I have to get in there and figure out what the hell is going on with me. Here are a few things that I realized….

~ I realize that I cannot write at home. I need to get out the house. I need to go some place that provides me with a sense of peace to still my mind. That is when I can get to the thoughts hidden underneath all of the mundane things, worrying things and unnecessary things. This blog will not die. This requires me to set aside time that is solely for writing. The water is my happy place so I must get there regularly.

~ Has my lack of vulnerability hindered me from finding a life mate? I am not sure, but I know that it is an issue. After listening to my audiobook, “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown, I knew something was seriously wrong with me. Seriously! I don’t want to miss out on anything in this life. Especially if the thing that could be holding me back is within me and fixable. This one right here may take all year for me. I think that I have prided myself on my lack of vulnerability and have worn my toughness as a shield and a medal at the same time. Like you can’t get to me. You won’t even know that I care. And if I do and you hurt me, you won’t see my pain. No one will. Not sure who benefitted from this. Pretty sure I didn’t. I have still been hurt and healed in a fractured way. Now I have to break these disjointed parts and expose myself. Yes it is scary, but I believe that it is necessary.

~ The things that I feel should be important to me are easily pushed aside for whatever reason. This one right here has been a constant throughout my adult life. I am not sure if what I say I value is really what I do value. Or if my action plan to accomplish these things is not really actionable. Either way it goes shit is not getting done. As I create a new list of goals to accomplish for 2019, I need to decide if this goal lines up with my values. I need to also write down specifically what I am trying to achieve and steps that will allow me make my goal a reality. This sounds like it covers all bases.

~ Last one, I am so delinquent when it comes to social media. I don’t feel as if it is important to me. I was online looking for a cover photo for 2019 for my Facebook page when it hit me, I don’t think that I took down the one I put up last year for 2018. Goes on Facebook, yep it’s still there. I am slightly embarrassed. When I look at my profile picture it is worse. It is the picture I took on my 40th birthday in 2017 😂😂😂. Yeah I need to work on my social media presence. I think that it can be a time waster so I rarely go on it. The reality is, if I want to increase the number of subscribers that read my blog regularly, I have to get on there and promote it. I have created a Facebook page for my blog, but haven’t share it with anyone. Haven’t done anything to the page since its creation. I need to utilize the platforms that are available to me. I am too antisocial to network and give my 30 second elevator speech.

I am sitting here waiting for the ball to drop signaling the change of day, which also changes the year. I can’t lie I am bringing in the new year as I have the last couple of years. Fighting to stay awake. I have already taken a nap but it’s not helping me. Lol. I have expectations for this new year. I have goals. I have faith. Nothing different from this past year. Somehow, I know this new year will be different. Starting with the fact that I love my new planner 😀. I know it will be different because I will be different. This new year is all about me. It is accurately labeled as The Year of Me. Until 2019 and beyond, be well and whole.