I know that this is a personal blog but at the same time I feel as if some things are too personal. My goal is to uplift and inspire you. Some of my stories don’t fall in this category. I don’t ever want to use this blog like people use Facebook. Venting all their frustrations and whining about all their problems. I usually unfollow those kinds of people.
But one of my other goals with this blog is to help people know they are not alone. Sometimes we feel like we are the only person that experiences certain things. Of course we aren’t. But if no one tells their tale how do we know? That is what I am here for. I will tell my tales, good, bad, crazy, sometimes unbelievable and usually funny.
At the same time, my tales can be sad, realistic and uninspiring. Too much of real life. Yet, these stories also need to be told. People relate and connect to sad stories, probably more than the good ones. I know it makes me feel seen. It also fills me with empathy for others. It makes me want to reach out to that person and let them know they are not alone.
I say all this to let you know, I want to connect with you on a different level. I want to tell my sad tales. But I don’t want to overwhelm you with them. I just hope that with me sharing some of the other side, you will feel seen. You will know that you are not alone. We, as human beings on this Earth, are going to go through shit. It’s unavoidable. So sometimes our shit is the same shit.
You have been forewarned. Sad shit ahead 😆. If you can relate to any of my sad posts and you want to connect, please feel free to reach out. I’m here for you. Now, I may not respond the same day but I will definitely respond back. Being well and whole isn’t acting as if nothing is wrong. Acknowledging when we are off track is part of being well and whole. Allowing ourselves to feels those feelings and get to the other side is the key to staying well and whole. I want for you what I want for me, to be well and whole. Much love 🧡💚
Just read an article in the New York Times online in regards to UPS now allowing their employees to wear their natural hair and facial hair. This change was implemented by their first female chief executive officer, Carol Tomé, in its 113 year history according to the NYT article. I have so many thoughts. First, I did a little research on Carol Tomé. I like her. She had actually retired from Home Depot last year as their Chief Financial Officer after being with the company for 24 years. Not a bad position to hold, but was also passed up for the position of chief executive officer with the company. If you know me, you know that I am pro-woman. I believe that women, when given the opportunity, have so much to contribute to this world. Fuck all that talk that we are emotional creatures and therefore cannot be trusted to make sound decisions. That is just a cop out to keep women in “their place”. I’m going to leave that alone. I can go on and on with this topic.
My second and most important thought upon seeing that article is, Really!?!?! I am so amazed that this is even an issue much less that it is still going on. Every time I see an article in regards to how a person wears their hair, I am so confused. What in the hell does that have to do with work performance or learning ability? Not a damn thing. So for companies and schools to make decision on who they hire or who can attend certain schools based on how they look is so beyond my grasp.
As a black woman who wears her hair as it grows out of her scalp, I take offense to these regulations (this is a nice word for what is actually happening). So you are telling me that I must use chemicals to alter my hair because…🤔. I’ll wait. I’m sure that whatever answer usually comes after the “because” is insufficient. I guess I have been blessed to have worked for companies where this has never been an issue for me. Not that it should have ever been an issue. I cannot stress this enough.
Who are we to tell people who to be? How to represent themselves? People are out here talking about their civil liberties in regards to wearing a fucking mask but companies and schools are trampling on people’s ability to just be themselves? It is some serious issues in this country, just saying. If people are going to fight for anything, fight for people’s rights to express and be themselves in all arenas of life.
Besides being pro-woman, I am absolutely for people being themselves at all times even if I don’t understand where a person is coming from. I might look at you with your orange, red, blue, green or rainbow hair and think it looks strange. But what I won’t do is judge you based on it. I don’t care what your hair looks like. I don’t care how many tattoos you have. I don’t care if your beard goes down to your belly button (is that possible?). What I care about is how you treat me and others. Are you kind? Are you sincere? Are you compassionate? Are you a good person? And even if you are a bad person, I don’t care. I just won’t deal with you.
I feel so much empathy for people who feel they have to jump through hoops just to be accepted in this world. And I am so grateful that I haven’t experienced it first hand. If you are a person who is struggling to find your place, know that there is a tribe out there for you. There is a group of people who will love and accept you just the way God created you. Stop trying to fit in. Fuck that job. Fuck that school. Go where you belong. You will be better for accepting who you are and allowing your light to shine at its brightest. And whatever company or school gets you will be better for it as well. Here is one of my favorite quotes:
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are” – e.e. cummings
Especially in a world that is trying to squash you. Have you experienced issues at jobs in regards to your hair? The way you dress? Just being you? Please share in the comments below. Or you can email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Be you, be well and whole. Much love to you exactly as you are 🧡💚
“It got me roamin’ through these empty streets Thinkin’ you ready for love (You ready for love) Are you ready for it? I think I’m ready for it”
Ready For Love by Lucky Daye
Ok this post is going to be a little sappy. Bear with me. Lol. I don’t know what happened over the last couple of months but I have went soft. Smh. Too much introspection and dropping limiting beliefs. Visualizations of my future. A sweet comment that chipped at the ice surrounding my heart which caused me to feel a physical pain. I believe it was that part of my heart thawing out and gaining some feeling back. And once that happened, I was done for. The rest of the ice slowly melted leaving an exposed, pulsing heart. A heart that has found its way to my sleeve ready to be put into someone’s hand. “Harpo, who is this woman?” 😂
Foggy sunrise
I had previously thought I was ready for a relationship. One Hinge date set me straight. The guy was so cool and I enjoyed myself. We played miniature golf (I won) and went out for dinner. We had some awkward getting to know you conversation and ended the date on a good note. That doesn’t mean sex people! It means with a possibility of another date. But I realized that it was too much. Too much energy. Too much effort. I didn’t want to use the energy and effort to get to know him better or anyone for that matter. Like I said, he was cool. It wasn’t him, it was me. That’s when I knew I wasn’t ready. I deleted my dating profile and haven’t looked back.
I prefer to meet a man organically. When you meet someone from a dating site, you know what you are there for. Especially, if you are ready for love and long-term commitment. You spend the whole time assessing them and looking for flaws, determined not to waste your time. They don’t really have a chance. My socially awkward ass doesn’t stand a chance. Lol. If I was to meet someone by chance at the bookstore, grocery store or library it would be a better flow for me. I listed these places because they are the only places I go. Lol. Someone says something, somebody else says something. You laugh, they laugh and there is a moment. I love that moment. It’s when you know that there is mutual interest. Numbers are exchanged and a world of possibilities open up.
I’m getting sad now. I haven’t had a moment in forever 🙁😄. No, I’m okay…I think. The truth is I’m ready for a moment. I’m ready to put my heart into someone’s hand. The right person’s hand. I have to admit, I am a little worried. I do not know how to pick them. And I go with the wrong ones that pick me. My type is asshole, period! None of my ex-boyfriends look similar. The only thing they have in common is asshole qualities. I’m not judging them. As the saying goes, “You attract what you are.” Certified asshole here 🙋🏾♀️. I guess I felt that someone who acts like me would get me. That I wouldn’t spend the majority of our relationship telling him I was joking and saying I’m sorry. This dating formula didn’t work out so well for me. Lol
I’m changing…slowly. There is parts of me that I love and I don’t want to change. My husband needs to love those parts too. Lol. Or at least accept them. But there are things I definitely need to work on. And I am. I don’t want to mess up what God gives me. I don’t want to be so stubborn, hard-headed, impatient and independent. Yes, I have these interesting qualities 😉. I also have some great ones. Loyal, supportive, honest and considerate. I am a perfect mix of imperfections and desirable qualities. Just right!
I have been watching the Black Love documentaries on YouTube and they are so inspiring. I know that my marriage will be one that works for my husband and I, but it is great to hear successful marriage stories and couples working through the challenges. I don’t have many models in regards to loving, successful marriages. If you have a successful marriage story, I would love to hear it! Feel free to share in the comments or email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. I love love. Continue to be well and whole in your life’s journey. I know that y’all are getting tired of wearing the mask because I am. But let’s keep each other safe. Mask on 😷! Much love 🧡 💚
