Category: Me

I have always had hair and a lot of it. I ask my mom how did she do all this hair. She explained that it was not unruly like it is now. When I went from junior high to high school, I transitioned from a jheri curl to a press and curl, then to a relaxer. I will say that I had a pretty long jheri curl so my straight hair was a nice length. I got bored with that and decided to cut it off. I had what I called dog ears. The hairstyle that T-boz from TLC wore. Oddly enough, I did that style before she made it famous. I eventually cut the dog ears off and just had my hair short all around. It grew back out after that to its normal long length. My hair grows pretty fast which I am thankful for.

There have been times that my hair was not long and it was not by choice. I went through a period when I was first diagnosed with a thyroid condition where my hair got so thin. I made a decision to cut it in a short style right above my ears because it looked so bad. I kept it that length until it regained its normal thickness. I started to let it grow back. I also began to relax it myself due to my schedule and my beautician’s schedule not matching up. I liked taking care of my hair.

Now my natural hair journey is one that I wanted, but was too scared to embrace on my own. I was bored with my hair, as usual, and decided to add some color. As recommended I waited two weeks after the color application to relax my hair. As I stood over the sink washing out the relaxer, I also washed out gobs of my hair. It was like something in a movie. Yea…I felt my heart drop down into my basement. Screamed, cried a little. Had a small freak out session. What most woman would go through I’m sure. Thank God for thick hair. It was noticeable but I didn’t exactly have any bald spots. This prompted me to cut off one side. The thinner side. I loved that hairstyle 😍!

My hair was still falling out. I did not relax my hair anymore and allowed my natural hair to grow. I kept the shaved side low and maintained the other side as best as I could. One day I said enough. Went into Steve’s Sport-n-Cuts and relieved myself of all my relaxed hair.

Talk about freedom. It was really a change for me. My hair was the shortest it had ever been and I was finally natural. This could be a lesson. If you are not specific about what you ask for, you may get it, but not how you want it. Lol. I wanted to go natural, but this was never the way I wanted to get there.

This natural hair journey has been…a learning experience, adventurous, annoying and necessary.

I know that I will not relax my hair ever again, but I do like to occasionally have straight hair. That is when I would stop by Steve’s Sport-n-Cuts and have Sydona flat iron these curly strands into submission. This allowed me to check my length and gave me a break from my time consuming wash, condition and style sessions.

Then there are of course the times when I have gotten bored. Added a little color.

Bored again, 💇🏾‍♀️

Shaved my one side again. Still love this hair style, but I think this will be my last time doing it.

And then there is the time when I am just plain tired. Tired of the long wash, condition and style sessions. Tired of my arms and back hurting as I stand for hours taming my rebellious hair. Knowing that my hair would be so much healthier and longer if I gave a shit about taking care of it. Knowing that I don’t care or want to take care of it any longer. Despite all of the naysayers and protest, I did this…

I can’t explain how free I felt when I got up from Sydona’s chair. I looked in the mirror and it was everything I wanted. She is a rock star when it comes to hair and she met and exceeded my expectations. She gave me a look that was feminine and perfect for my face and head shape. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision.

Here I am a week later without a regret and still in love with this cut. I have received looks of disbelief, anguish and even anger. But like India.Arie said, “I am not my hair”. I have mostly received compliments and statements to my bravery. I appreciate every compliment that I have received. But the real response I value is the one within myself. I am loving every minute of it. To the point that I may wait a little while before I allow it to grow back. This style is a true wash and go. Something that became an impossibility once I got a little length on my hair after the first big chop. I will enjoy and embrace the next phase of my natural hair journey. It will continue to be a journey for me because as boredom sets in, there is no telling what I will do next. As always, be well and whole.

Looking back, Me Pt. 1 was created back in May of 2017. I guess I am due to share a little more information about myself. Here goes nothing, something, whatever.

1. I have only been in love 2 times in my life and I am not sure if either one of them counted. The first time I was 16 years old. And from my understanding young love like that is called puppy love. I guess adults don’t think at that age we have the capability to feel such deep emotions. Well, I did. And I still love him to this day. Not like I did when we were younger, but there is still love in my heart for him. The second time I was 30 years old. It took me a long time to realize that I was in love. Actually, someone else pointed it out to me. I struggled with the realization. Once I accepted the truth all I wanted to do was fall out of love. Lol. Not the right person or circumstances.

2. I am socially awkward and not good at small talk. After an initial greeting and talking about the weather conditions, I have no idea what to talk about. I will lapse into an uncomfortable silence, which I am not a fan of. If I’m too uncomfortable then I will start babbling about anything to fill the silence. Also, I am terrible at picking up on social cues. I like for people to say what they mean because I hate misunderstandings. I am a direct person and I need people to state their intentions directly. If you don’t, I probably won’t know what is going on unless someone else steps in and tells me. Then I can either clarify the situation or ignore you until you get the hint. Which at this point brings up number 3…

3. I’m an asshole. There us no way around it. I have to admit this. Most people probably wouldn’t believe this. I have grown up so I don’t say a lot of the things I used to when I was younger. I still think them, therefore I am still an asshole. Don’t get me wrong there are times that I do say them too. They just fall out of my mouth and sometimes I feel bad and other times I don’t give a shit. I am the type of person that when I am done with you, I will just never speak to you again. I won’t answer my phone, text you back and if I see you in public I will act like I don’t see you. I do not give people closure. I know this sounds mean and I am aware that it is mean. But the fact that I don’t care solidifies my point about being an asshole.

4. I am also an introvert to the point of being a recluse. I want to join the world, but every time I think about the energy it takes, I just say the hell with it. I’m so bad that I joined a group on Meetups to meet new people and start to socialize. Yea…still haven’t went to an event yet. It’s been almost a year. I love spending time by myself. Actually if I go too long without me time, I will morph into an evil person. I am getting too set in my ways. At this point, I cannot fathom living with someone on a daily basis. Plus, I would have to actually change because…

5. I am a total bachelorette that lives more like they say bachelors do. I am clarifying this because some bachelors are way neater than I am. I wash dishes when I want and I don’t make up my bed on a daily basis. I hate washing clothes and when I do, they will sit in a basket waiting on me to fold them. I iron only because my clothes are wrinkled due to sitting in a basket. I can’t tell you the last time I have eaten at my kitchen table. I usually will lean against the counter and eat standing up. I do have one redeeming quality though…

6. I love old people. The best job I ever had was delivering meals to senior citizens. If I could get paid comparable to what I make now I would work at a senior center. Now I don’t like wiping butts or cleaning up after people so I could not work in a nursing home. But simple interactions that brightens their day would make my day. Creating moments for seniors to feel loved and considered, my ideal of a life lived with purpose. Lending an ear to hear their concerns or listening to their stories from the past. Small but meaningful gestures. I am here for all of that.

I think that is enough sharing for now. I am sure that I have probably listed too many bad qualities, but I felt a need to get them out of the way. Next time I’ll lead with my more likeable, acceptable qualities. I am changing all the time. I hope it is for the better, but I can’t guarantee it 😉 “Know thyself” and “To thine own self be true”, so they say. I say, Be well and whole, whatever that looks like for you 😘.

I had started to create a totally different post to talk about my 40th birthday but it made me sad. I have decided to acknowledge the great parts of my birthday weekend instead. I had two of my closet friends come to celebrate with me. Patty from Virginia and Delanea from Texas. We went to a nice restaurant called Live Edge. They had a live band, which I can’t remember the name of, who gave an awesome performance.

We left there and meet up with my family at Club Opium.

My cousin Kermit and his band gave a great live performance and had everyone dancing. The band’s name is Quinn & Jukebox. Check them out next time you are in Atlanta.

The next day was a little different. Pretty much rained the whole day. I had wanted to climb Stone Mountain but I guess not. We did finally get ourselves to moving and rode around the city. My cousins Kehana and Lamia live in Atlanta so they were our tour guides. That evening we went to Suite Lounge.

Still toasting to my 40 years on this planet.

Nice bar and restaurant. Rode around some more and took a few great night pictures.

Also, we saw a really disturbing sight. A homeless young man laying in the street. Initially, my cousin thought he had been hit but he was actually laying by the vent. He had no blankets or coverings of any kind. He was getting heat from the vent. Kehana had a blanket and a sheet in her trunk. We drove back around and she gave him those items. Very heartbreaking.

Sunday, it was like I was in Toledo. The temperature was in the forties. Very cold and windy. I was able to meet up with Patty for breakfast before her flight was due. It was a nice little cafe with a french theme.

Sadly, Delanea’s flight left out early so I didn’t get to see her before she left. One valuable lesson I did learn from this. I will not plan a trip with friends and family again. It is either one or the other. My family was definitely trying to hog me. I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time with my friends. And I was so looking forward to really hanging with them. After breakfast, we just stayed in the room and watched movies.

Let’s just say that my weekend did not turn out as expected. And 40 is not exactly off to a good start. I am trying to not have a bad attitude about it. But I think I’m still holding a grudge. Lol. Well a year is a long time to hold a grudge. I’ll be over it before 41.

For all who shared this milestone birthday with me before and after the day, I thank you. I am grateful and appreciative for each and every one of you. My circle is so small but it is filled with love, understanding and acceptance. What more could a girl ask for? I would have liked for a different outcome but we sometimes have to make the most of what we get. I had purchased this shirt from Target because I felt that this was my time and I am not giving up on this tag line. These next years I am going to make them my best years. Let The Adventure Begin!