As I stated in Reflections, 2018 wasn’t terrible. I started the year off pretty good, but about 3 months in I was distracted. I never got my focus back. My micro goals were not accomplished, so therefore I didn’t accomplish any major goals. So suffice it to say, I am carrying over goals from last year to this new year. I do not want to negate my accomplishments from last year. I did some things. But not near to half of what I wanted. I do have some new goals as well.
One important goal that I want to accomplish within the first 6 months is to get a mentor. I have never had one. There has been people I admired and looked up to, but have never sought to create a relationship were knowledge and success principles could be shared. It seems that it would be beneficial to speak to someone who is already successful in the industry that I want to pursue. Or someone who is succeeding in an industry where no one else is. Or just succeeding in life in general.
I want love. I want to give love and I want to receive love. I want to meet a man who I want to kiss. I know that sounds crazy, but I’m picky about who I kiss. No walls up, full transparency. Wow 😮! It will never stop being scary for me. I know what I am looking for. The me that I am right now could not handle the kind of love that I am wanting in my life. I am a saboteur. The way for this to be attainable may be therapy. I am so serious about this. There is a possibility that I am broken like a toy, not in spirit. So another one of my new goals is to seek wise counsel. There needs to be someone who has an unbiased view of me to tell me about myself. I know it is going to piss me off, but I will be open-minded. How else will I get to my breakthrough? This goal is one I want accomplished within the first 3 months.
Now this one is a carryover. Debt!!! I am so tired of it hanging over my head. I did work on some of it in 2018, but I barely scratched the surface. In 2019, new micro goals to get things either paid off or paid down. This is a must! I don’t want to live this way any longer. I will not live this way any longer. I will set a 12 month goal of the debts to be paid off and an amount I want knocked off the larger ones. These will be broken down in 3 month increments to give myself an idea on how it is going.
For 2019, create a list of things that you want to see manifested in your life. The goal is to write out your heart’s desire. The things you tell people you want or would do if you won the lottery. One thing I ask is to BELIEVE that it is possible. No negative self talk or doubts! Yes you are deserving of your hopes and dreams. Write it down with it being non-negotiable. Write it down with no plan B. For instance, I want a house on a lake or a river, hell even an ocean. I will not settle for anything less the next time I purchase a home. There is no substitute. Now it may not happen in 2019 but I am believing it for myself. I am still going to write it down, paste it on my vision board for 2019. I will envision myself sitting on my deck or in my breakfast nook looking out across the water, drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee. Now what the rest of the house looks like I have no clue. Lol.
Seriously, I want to see people’s timelines and comments on this post, talking about their achievements, hopes and dreams coming to fruition. Post pictures of your vision boards. I want whatever it is that you want for yourself to happen. I will pray for your dreams and goals. I am your cheerleader in this life. If you need a word of encouragement, I got you. Happy and successful people spread love and joy and this is truly what the world needs right now. As I have said before, the world needs you. I need you. Be well and whole in this blessed year of 2019.
41 and Counting
Yesterday was my 41st birthday. I had been thinking about this day for the last 2 – 3 weeks. When it gets close to my birthday, I tend to reflect back on my last year. What I wanted to do, what I actually did. Then I think ahead. What do I want to do, how am I going to do it? As usual each year goes by and I end up not exactly where I want to be, most times not even close. Some things I had control over and I did not act accordingly. Others, not so much. Like for instance, the weather today. Ugh!! I had plans to go to the University of Toledo and ride around on a Lime electric scooter. I was really looking forward to it. I know it sounds childish, but I don’t care. Lol. Since it is forecasted to rain all day, I guess not. Yes I know I can still ride in the rain, but not with my hair freshly done.
I will not undo the miracle that Sydona managed on this unruly mop. 💇🏾 At this point I haven’t figured out a Plan B for this day. Maybe nothing, maybe food (yes), or maybe the Art Museum. They have an exhibit that I have been wanting to attend. It is called “Community” by Rebecca Louise Law. It will be at the Toledo Art Museum until January 13, 2019. The exhibit is free on Thursdays open from 5 pm – 9 pm. Or you can attend the other days the museum is open at a cost of $10 and other special pricing based on age. For more details, www.toledomuseum.org. Something to do with flowers so if you have an allergy to pollen and such, may not be for you. Or just take a Claritin.
Anyhoo, here I am 41. I won’t go into details but life is pretty much the same as it was last year on this day. What am I going to do about it? Honestly, I don’t fucking know 🤷🏾! What I do know is I’ve got to do something. I have a week off to figure it out. Road trip! My birthday trip this year is all about me doing exactly what I want to do. Starting off with heading up North to visit the Cross in the Woods in Indian River, MI and hopefully seeing beautiful autumn scenery. Doing a turn and burn to head down south. I visit my mom at least once a year but I never get to stop along the way. I always wanted to stop and just meander. Go through Kentucky and see what’s over the next hill. That lookout spot on the expressway. The trees, the colors of the leaves. I do appreciate the little things. This trip will allow me to really enjoy them, immerse myself in them. Take pictures, listen to audiobooks, read, set new life goals and plans. Oh and the music. How I love music. Oh wait I already told y’all that. Lol. I need to load my player today. Human contact not necessary, except for my stop off in Cincinnati to see my friend. Haven’t officially been there to visit her yet. Something always comes up. I was there for this special moment though.
Not sure if I will write any posts while I am on this odyssey. I do promise to share after though. Depending on how good this goes, I may make a point of repeating yearly. Riding out of wherever I am living at that point and heading to explore some new territory. It really sounds like so much fun to me. I have to think of some clever title to give it. Lol. Oh or if any of you have some name suggestions, leave it in the comments.
I would like to thank each and every one of you that has reached out to wish me a happy birthday. For the people who celebrated with me Friday and Saturday, I thank you for getting me out of my shell. I really enjoyed myself as I always do when I am with you ladies. And for the ones that wanted to be here but could not, another day. We can always celebrate any day that God has given us. Hopefully with food and drink. Lol. For everyone else, be well and whole.
Stinky Booty, 2002 – 2018
I dreamed about this little Boo Boo right here.
In the dream she was in a doggy nursing home (I’m sure there is no such thing). Even if there was a doggy nursing home, my dog would not be in it! The only thing that was good about that dream was she was alive. She was still old, deaf and blind. All of which she was earlier this year. We were both happy to be in each other’s presence. The rest of the dream sucked. For those of you that don’t know, I had to release my dog earlier this year. Stinky graced this earth from March 18, 2002 until January 5, 2018.
Originally her name was to be LaRaye with a nickname of La La. No one liked that name but me. Even she didn’t like it. Wouldn’t answer to it at all. She could have just been being stubborn too. One day I was holding her in my lap and I sniffed those little feet and it wasn’t pleasant. Now we get her real name, Stinky. Over her lifetime she has been known by many names, such as Gizmo and Boo Boo. Stinky was the one that worked the best. According to my mom I jinxed her. She did end up being a pretty stinky dog all around. Lol. But Stinky was so much more as well. She was the queen. It was her way. When you took her for a walk and she was tired of walking she would just sit down. Nothing you did would make her move. When she rode in the car with you, it would be a struggle to get her to sit in her own seat and not on your lap. She would wait until you weren’t paying attention and jump over.
I remember the day I went to get her. I knew this guy who had a white shih-tzu that would fetch a toy and bring it back to you. The dog would drop it right at your feet and I thought it was so cool. I wanted a dog just like that. Same color but preferably a girl dog. I found out a pet store in Monroe, Michigan was getting a litter in. I was there as soon as they opened their doors. Two girl dogs, one white and tan (the one I wanted) and another black and white, Stinky. They were both so adorable. The only problem was the white and tan puppy didn’t like me. Like she would whine and push against me to put here down. Now this runt was all over me. She bit onto my sweater coat and wouldn’t let go. The tiniest little thing at 3.5 pounds with a pink bow in her hair. The guys at the pet store were showing me great items to purchase for a new pup. One was a squeaky toy. I sat the squeaky toy down and little miss picks it up, brings it to me and drops it at my feet. Sold!
An arsenal worth of dog crap and a $450 runt walked out of the store with me. I hate to inform y’all, but that was the first and last time that she did that particular trick. She would bring a toy and drop it at your feet only to fight you for it as if her life depended on it. She would lock on it like a pit bull as you dangled her in the air. Still cute, but not what I brought her for. Lol.
I happened to be a slight workaholic which I didn’t take into consideration in wanting to be a dog owner. A few weeks in, I was ready to get rid of her. Stinky peed on my new carpet repeatedly and was not ashamed of it either. She would pop a squat right in front of you. Granny to the rescue. At this point my mom was attached and so she set about housebreaking that little mutt. So I decided to keep her. She spent a great deal of time at my mom’s house. So much so Stinky pretty much stopped coming home. I was no longer the custodial parent. I became the parent with visitation rights. I would still spoil the hell out of her. There was not much Stinky didn’t have. She even had a Pit Bull cousin named Bae Bae who was her best friend.
This little life is no longer with us as well. She passed before Stinky. When we would go over to my brother’s house Stinky would get so excited. Then she would walk around for about 15 minutes whining because she realized her best friend, Bae Bae, wasn’t there. She never adjusted. She would do it every time we went to his house.
Stinky was something else. She didn’t like to take pictures once she got to a certain age so the majority of them looked like this.
She had her own blanket crocheted by her granny.
But that did not stop her from laying all over on mine.
She had a ton of clothes, this is just a few outfits.
One of her favorite pastimes, sunbathing.
Her main pastime, napping.
Riding in the basket with Granny. Spoiled ass 😍!
I believe the only reason that people should get a pet, dog, cat or otherwise, is to spoil them and love them. Stinky was both from the day I picked her up at the pet store to the day I laid her to rest. My stepdad would leave the house just to take her for rides in his Corvette. I am pretty sure that she didn’t even know she was a dog. Life without Stinky is just a little duller. She had so much personality and attitude. No was a word Stinky didn’t understand and if she did, she pretended that she didn’t. She had a good life. I could go on and on about this little heffa.
The day that was her last was totally heartbreaking for me. I felt as if I was betraying her. Two went in and only one came out. As she snuggled on me, not realizing what was about to happen, I knew all to well. Stinky’s quality of life had decreased to the point that it would have been selfish to allow her to continue to live on. This knowledge didn’t make it any easier. After, I just kept saying, I never want another dog. I couldn’t see myself going through the process again. I have adjusted and would love to have another dog. I happen to still be a workaholic so now would not be a good time. Dogs make us better people. They are truly an example of unconditional love. How can you not return the love they give you? It breaks my heart to see the evil that people commit on dogs and other animals. To see all the lonely dogs in animal shelters. I could easily be the spinster with a house full of abandon dogs 😂😂😂. Of course I’m not going to do it…maybe 🤷🏾.
This little life brighten my life and many others. Stinky is missed and will never be forgotten. She was one of a kind.
